Saturday, May 26, 2012

Alex, Child Of Purpose

In my womb ultra sound room in SM Megamall. Second Pregnancy after six years. 2009. Ronald and TJ were with me, anxious to find out if our baby was a boy. When the ob gynecologist announced that it was a girl, my first instinct was to look at my husband, Ronald, then to TJ, when i saw them, my heart sank. They were trying to look happy and excited but it was far from convincing.

TJ had been praying for a brother. He was sure that God was going to give us a boy. He was ready to be a brother, after so many years of waiting. In fact, when he learned that i'm pregnant then, he asked us too to help him pray to God to give him a little brother. He even have a named, Alex.

Despite his best effort to remain unaffected, the tears came. And he blurted out, " Dad, Mom, maybe, i'm the only one who prayed to God, maybe you didn't helped me pray, that's why the baby is a girl.

Ronald fought to keep his composure because he was disappointed. I knew he wanted a boy too. But our most immediate concern was helping TJ to process the news correctly. We hugged TJ tightly and said to him, " God does not always answer our prayers that way we want him to, but he always answers our prayers. He always gives us what is best and he has a reason for everything..."

Did my 6 year old son understand this? He really tried. But it was not easy. It was faith building moment for him. This was the first TJ was ever disappointed with God. We could only reinforce and reassure him that God has a plan - for all things, good and bad. In the end, TJ still insisted to named the baby girl Alex. and to make it more feminine sound, we added some letters and that's how Alexandra came about, but we sticked to what TJ requested, we all call her now Alex :-)

Present day. May 25, 2012. i watched Alex blow out her three birthday candles. she is about to turn 3 this May 27,2012, but since we are going to India and Nepal on the 26th, we brought her in Disneyland and let her experienced the magical moment with Disney and the Princesses as a gift and had a celebration at home today. As we celebrated the day as a family, i decided to write about Alex as my offering of praise to God.

I praised God for his knowingness, for always giving what is better than our best hopes and expectations. I wanted a baby a year after TJ was born 6 years ago. But God hand-picked Alex for me to love and formed her in my inward parts. She knit her in my womb. She is fearfully and wonderfully made.

Some months ago, I had a conversation with TJ about Alex. and i reminisced with him, going back to the moment when we were in the ultrasound room. What he may not grasped then is clear to him now. He would not traded Alex for anything. I often saw him embracing and kissing Alex often in a day and saying i love you to her :-)

Alex came at the right time of our marriage life too...she added just the right mix of spunk, intensity, comedy and curiosity the each personality inside the house. I can't imagine our family without her. God threw some spice in there when he gave us Alex. She colored our world.

There were many highlights this past years in Alex's life. Some of my favorites are when im about to prepare her milk one nap time and said, "Paubos na pala ang gatas mo anak", and she answered, " Sorry Mom, you'll gonna buy another milk for me"... she always says sorry even to the little things she taught she did wrong someone and she always says thank you too whenever the situations need to. another magic moment she does when i was chocked and having a hard time coughing when she went near me and immediately gave me her water and tap her hand to my back to relieved my coughing, so sweet of her :-)...and the every night prayers we do. one time, her yaya accompany her in going to bed one night, before Alex slept, Alex told her, " Naynay (alex called her yaya Naynay), lets pray the age of two she already lead us into our meal prayer time...this are just some of many things Alex does that our heart was over joyed of God's goodness and grace.

Like TJ, i believe that Alex is a child of purpose. God has a special plan for her and her personality, quirkiness, strength and weaknesses. On her third birthday, i want to remember that and thank God for the gift she is to us. Happy Birthday Alex. We love you more each day :-)